It has come to my attention recently that people buy a lot of stuff from Nintendo. Some people buy multiple copies of platforms they already own, such as Game Boys and DSes, or pointless add-ons for the platforms. I have analyzed this phenomenon and have thus dubbed it the Nintendo Reality Distortion Field.

I've discovered nearly every Nintendo-manufactured piece of hardware from the mid-1990's contained a special electronic field generator that, for the purposes of this thesis, will be called an "NRD Chip." This chip sends out a seemingly harmless field of electricity from the console or handheld it is implanted in. This field leaves an invisible mark of sorts on the player.

The commercials Nintendo puts on the airwaves emit a special signal that, upon being viewed by a person affected with the NRD Chip's electronic field, triggers a subtle, subconscious reaction. This reaction will cause the affected person(s) to desire the advertised product, with the exception of an advertisement for something they already own.

This technology was first implemented in the original Game Boy, as it was still too experimental to put into their Super Nintendo Entertainment System. The prototype NRD technology caused many owners of Game Boys to desire the re-designed Game Boy Pocket, despite being the same internal hardware in a smaller shell.

The idea was expanded upon with their two next big releases, the Nintendo 64 and the Game Boy Color. The electronic field emitted by the two devices was slightly altered, as there were no "recycled hardware" revisions of them. The NRD was thus targetted toward making children and teenagers desire various add-ons for the two platforms. Add-ons such as a "rumble pak," "Link cable," or a "Game Boy Camera" hit the video game market and, while some took off tremendously, others did not. Nintendo learned from this and strived to not make the same mistakes again.

The NRD came to a head in the early 2000's when Nintendo's next console, the Gamecube, and next handheld, the Game Boy Advance, hit the market. There were any number of added peripherals, many of which boasted the promise of "connectivity" between the two platforms. Spearheaded by Square Enix's "Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles" and the company's own "Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures," the phenomenon was widely panned by gamers but still made Nintendo quite a profit.

It was then that they realized it did not matter what the "Hardcore Gamers" thought of them, because their NRD technology had advanced far enough to affect the Casual Gaming market. With a subsequent two re-designs of the Game Boy Advance, they have settled comfortably into manipulating video game players of all demographics into needlessly buying pointless add-ons for their latest console, the Wii, and re-designing their current Handheld platform, the DS, an unheard of 3 times.

My research indicates that those with particularly strong wills (or empty wallets) are unaffected by the NRD Field, as are the few people with knowledge of NRD's existence. It is my hope that enough people, with this information, break free from the ever-so-slight, yet firm grip the Nintendo Reality Distortion has on them.

Nah, I just like smaller stuff.

also you best not be dissin' the game boy camera that thing was fuckin' rad

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You are indeed someone affected by the NRD.

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I'm very cool.

My original post:

Because people haven't always bought slightly smaller or prettier versions of things they already own.

Thought of my favorite pfsc strip while typing.

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I'm very cool.

I can almost see what you're saying about replacing my grey pile of plastic shit with an actual portable device, but if you've actually used a Game Boy Camera and you actually think it sucks then you must be affected by nega-NRD or someshit cuz that thing rocked

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Calm down, god damn

I was talking to galaxy bro and thought this would be funny to post as though it were part of a college thesis

jesus

this is why we can't have nice things.

I'm totally calm.

But, I think, a better title for the thread or whatever would be, like, "Being a nerd" or just "Geek",
Or living in a capitalist society.

Calmer than you are.

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I'm very cool.

Lol vidya games is serious business.

My mistake. I'll make sure to never make a fun, bullshit post that isn't "LOL DONGS WHAT IS A MAN 36 HOURS REMAIN" again, because you guys are too cool to play along with anything other than that.

You gotta do what?


You gotta relax.

Calmer than you are, dude.


It's like indoctrination from Mass Effect

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Hi Rock, my weapon is hot
It’s time to throw down
Show me what you’ve got
Today we change the end…

I hate those threads. And what am I supposed to play along with here?

I fully accept that people buy slightly shinier shit than they already had, I was just saying Nintendo's not the only company who capitalizes on that.

MOST companies do. At least ones who make anything gadgety.

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I'm very cool.