Do you have questions that you feel a jerky eating, beer drinking, testosterone bleeding, man's man preferably with social anxieties or a real live titty-owning woman can't answer, so for some reason you want to ask a convicted felon?

Then I'm your guy!

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"Divide by Sharpedo? Pft, more like devoured by Sharpedo!" - Jay C; MAGfest 8

You have the cure for cancer and the resources to start an x-games like series of events, what do you do with it?

I hold an x-games like series since I have the resources. Then, instead of giving the cure to the winner, I give it to whomever placed in second. He will be bitter with defeat from having lost the x-games like contest, and therefor the perfect pawn for my scheme of obtaining mucho dinero.

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"Divide by Sharpedo? Pft, more like devoured by Sharpedo!" - Jay C; MAGfest 8

How does it feel to exude awesome?
What is the true feeling of a good backhand?
Will I ever be as cool as you?

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What's the food like?

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Rest in peace Trevor

How many black sea men is up your ass?

Does being on the inside change a man?

Hiiiii~?

It feels pretty damn good.
I don't know the feeling of the backhand itself, only the feeling of delivering one.
Possibly. I believe you can, but it's a long and tedious journey.



Atrocious. As an amateur chef, I was insulted by the slop they served us. The worse things was "food" that wasn't solid. The mushy stuff, like rice/beans shit. That was terrible. What was good were the stuff that we made combining things, like spread. And "cake". I'll have to tell you guys about cake another day.



Thankfully zero.



I think maybe a tiny bit. Certain little things I still do. Though I think I've changed the least while in there. But some people change a lot.



Hola.

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"Divide by Sharpedo? Pft, more like devoured by Sharpedo!" - Jay C; MAGfest 8

What were your fears going in to it and how did your experience compare?
How many people were in there that were absolute douchebags and how many were ok guys?
Any interesting stories you have from there?

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Do you feel like you got the full experience, or did you get out too early to have really felt the shock of being locked away?

What was the 'cake' like?

Some 16-Year-Old Retard manages to take second in your X-game like series of events. He thanks you for the cure, and makes his way back home still feeling the depression of defeat. What's your next move?

I honestly didn't have that many fears going into it. Sure, I had the normal ones like "I hope I don't get shanked" and shit like that, but nothing else really. I was just relieved to know that there was finally going to be an end to all of this.

The closest thing to a douche I saw in there were younger guys who thought they would come in and be the toughest fucker in there. They thought they would change the rules around or something. They usually got their asses beat for shit like that. There were a lot of really cool and chill dudes in my dorm though. Like, wow, they're really cool people who just happened to make a mistake and now have to serve time. I'm really gratefully that I got the opportunity to meet them, I just hate that we meet under those circumstances.

The first story that comes to mind was the day I saw them making pruno. For those who don't know, pruno is basically alcohol made in prison using fruits, sugar, and other shit. So, I see a bunch of inmates huddled over a trashcan shaving and sanding down apples into liquid. Now, when I see apple liquid, I immediately think of apple juice. So I get all excited and I'm like "fuck yeah, we're having apple juice?" and all the other inmates just look at me with those "is this kid for real" eyes. Then one of the guys pulled me over and was like "bro, that's not apple juice, it's pruno". And then he told me how it's alcohol, and I get disappointed that we're not having apple juice anymore.



I know I definitely didn't get the full experience. I had it easy. Only did 10% of a year and I was in a smaller dorm for about 30 of those days. Most of the dorms in general population are over 150 people. And those dorms are highly political. Black phones on the right, whites and Hispanic phones on the left. Shower only with your race. If your race gets into a fight with another, you better jump in and help, otherwise you get a beat down after. The dorm I was in only had 36 people. It was extremely clean, we mopped twice a day. We tended to get extra food, so there was constantly extra sandwiches and cereal if you were hungry. There were a couple of guards who would come in and just shoot the shit with you. They treated you like actual people. So not only was it time spent, but also where it was spent. Though near the end, it slowly started sinking in that this was possibly going to be my home for awhile. It wasn't too bad at the beginning, but after like 3 weeks, I was over it.

tl;dr - no, yes

Cake wasn't too bad. It's mostly peanut butter, crushed cookies, and bread. If you happen to have cream filled cookies, you could also use that to frost the cake.



I most scare him out of hiding. I find his loved ones and kidnap them. Then I threaten to kill them by train if he does not cooperate with me.

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"Divide by Sharpedo? Pft, more like devoured by Sharpedo!" - Jay C; MAGfest 8

So now, I'm a drifter. I'm couch surfin' and dish washin'. By almost all accounts, I'm off the grid. What do I do know?

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"My job? Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets. Plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare. "

You do what you do best. You drift while surfin' couches and washin' dishes.

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"Divide by Sharpedo? Pft, more like devoured by Sharpedo!" - Jay C; MAGfest 8