Yeah. That Tuberz guy is a faggot...
self esteem - 1

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I had a weird dream about 2 nights ago that Grams was trying to kill me. But, not like she usual does with shitty driving and trying to burn the house down by cooking something then forgetting about it and leaving. She had a gun. All I remember was something about hiding behind a car as she kept shooting it. I'm sure other shit happened in the dream, but literally all I really remember is hiding behind a car as my Grams tried to shoot me.

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"Divide by Sharpedo? Pft, more like devoured by Sharpedo!" - Jay C; MAGfest 8

The other day I had a dream where I sucked my own dick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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IT'S TEA TIME!

I hate you Gman

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I'm not joking! I did have that dream!

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IT'S TEA TIME!

Dreamt that Zack Ryder and The Big Show (wrestlers) went to John Laurinaitis (ex-wrestler, current authority figure) and complained about something (individually, I think. They didn't come in together) and the segment ended with Johnny convincing them to form a 3-man tag team with him.

Gotta admit I'd be into that.

I had a dream where I had Samus' suit and I was in the middle of a tornado trying to screw attack out only to die and wake up in another dream where I was in the middle of a kiss with a random blonde woman

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\Shed the Truth

I had a dream where I was in a dream.

The weird thing was the dream that wasn't a dream (but it was), was just me doing normal shit so it really freaked me out when I actually woke up.

The weirder thing is that in my dream it was night and I woke up in the day. Now I know how a time traveler feels.

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IT'S TEA TIME!

Had a dream where I was out of the Army and got gunned down by the military when I was unarmed and just trying to cross the parking lot to my car. As I lay on my back gasping for air, a soldier walks up and finished me off with a machine gun. Can't wait till I'm off the patch so I stop having all these crazy dreams.

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I'm the one fucking this bitch, you're just holding the camera.

(taken from my facebook) Last night I had a dream within a dream, mainly because I was freaking wasted. Alcohol is probably what they used in Inception to create dreamworlds in their sleep. So in the first layer, I'm hanging with my best friend and my roommates in my aparment, and even in this dream I'm still pretty trashed. Time didn't slow down either, things were happening pretty rapidly. People are meeting each other, I'm pouring drinks for my friend, we're watching Gilligan's Island for some reason (Gilligan accidentally killed the Harlem Globe Trotters and the rest of island's inhabitants decide to eat their remains). I wasn't aware of my dreamstate, but I still knew that I had to go to sleep so I could wake up at 5am to go to work. So I go to my room and stumble into my bed where I start to drift off.

So in my next level of a dream, I'm sober and time starts to normalize. This is taking place in a far more fantastic setting where there are giant colorful plants, oversized bugs and slugs, plant creatures, bat-things, and an assortment of other creepy quirks. I was on the ground in a patch of dry dirt, and my friend that I was pouring drinks to in the previous dream helps me up. We start going through the forest to a destination that I didn't really know of. The other interesting feature of this setting was the sky. It was a deep pink, like a sunset, and there was a huge blue planet in the sky. Me and my friend are armed, me with a machete and a pair of armored gloves and him with a crossbow. As we're making way through the forest some creatures attack us (like the bugs) and some leave us alone (the slugs were too slow even though they had enormous barbs in their mouths). I recall punching through a millipede's mouth and yanking out its bulbous, puss-sack of a brain.

Before I could find out what we were doing, I come out of the dream on the couch we were hanging out on (which was odd because I passed out in my bed). I ask my friend about the dream and he knows all about it, but is a little confused. Everyone else doubts my story, and then I wake up at 2:50am with a raging hangover.

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"My job? Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets. Plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare. "

I always have the craziest dreams, but can't remember them about half the time. It sucks. The ones I can remember are beyond creepy though, for me anyway. I can remember one from the other night where I screwed my step cousin(ugh) and my sister's dog Cici was teaching my martial arts. I was supposed to be training to simply better myself, but ended up using it in self-defense at school and killed the person attacking me. Got off scot free and was walking home when some bitches rolled up and decided to take me out for a night on the town. And the only part of the dream that seemed to bother me after I woke up was my sister's dog teaching me to fight. That dog is tiny, she's half chiweenie, half lahsa apso. Just imagine it, cause I don't want to, not again.

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I'm your huckleberry.

Been having some weird crazy storyfilled dreams. One involved Gena walking again. Another had something to do with Back to the Future. One more was one where my friend Albert didn't exist, but I still knew of him and everything.

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"Divide by Sharpedo? Pft, more like devoured by Sharpedo!" - Jay C; MAGfest 8

My dream last night was fucking insane but I don't remember all the details... Gotta post it here before I forget even more.

I don't remember exactly how this all started but it took place back in high school though not just any high school this was a high school where just about anyone from any alien species would go to for some reason. Anyway, we get a new student which is kinda like the Na'vi from Avatar in the sense that she's connected to something else with her hair and she's a totally smokin' blue babe except not only does she look more human than alien but what she's connected to is another smokin' blue babe and sometimes they make out for some reason ( ).

Anyway that's where the fun alien stuff stops because after that I didn't see another one. Most of the story takes place from another man's perspective who is apparently my father in the past except he looks nothing like him also this is the story of how he met my mother who again looks nothing like her. So while these two blue alien babes are making out by the high school pool the whole place starts being attacked by piranhas that come out from the drains (I saw the new Piranha trailer a few days ago though I don't see why my brain would wait until now to bring it up.) and not only that but they instantly mutate into horrible piranha abominations that can also fly.

So everyone's running away from these piranhas and shit and it's basically a full scale war between the world and these piranhas. Earth is plunged into chaos or whatever. Past-dad-who-isn't-really-my-dad is travelling on foot through this thick jungle area and my past-mom and her army commander or someone are riding by on this four-wheeler being chased by some piranha-robot that lobs motorcycles that explode when they hit the ground. Past-dad and his army buddies save them. My past-parents agree to hook up after the war.

I'm not sure what happens between then and now maybe my mind just skipped a ton of important shit or I just can't remember it any more but the war is over and now it's taking place from my perspective except I'm kinda like Adam Jensen in the sense that I've got augments and shit. I guess I must have come from the future or something because I catch wind that my past-mom has been roped into some kind of event where there's a ton of people watching a stage and on that stage is a huuuuuuuuuuuge dinner table. There's food on the table but nobody is there to eat, no... My past-mom and some other guy are the main event where if that guy is the last one standing by the end then he gets to marry her but anybody else is free to sign up for the battle and try to take out either him or past-mom to take their place. Not sure how past-mom got sucked into this but it's easy to tell she doesn't want to be there because she's either going to get married to some guy or she's going to die.

Well obviously this just doesn't fly for me because I need my past-parents to meet up or I'll never be born so I sign up for this event. Everyone gets their choice of bludgeoning weapon and I pick a fucking coffee table. So the event starts and there I am just swinging this coffee table around knocking people out with about a thousand onlookers just watching this event. I run up to the main guy who's supposed to marry my past-mom and crack him across the head. I turn to past-mom and yell at her to run (Editor's Note: I'm pretty sure in the missing spot between the war part and now I must have met up with her before because she knows who I am and doesn't question it.) while I fight to clear a path for her. The place kinda empties out as people are knocked out and the event dies down so I step outside and there's nobody to be found.

I wake up (Not for real; dream wake up.) and check my Facebook and there's a message from future-past-mom (still not real mom) saying thanks for saving her.

Then I woke up for real.

Dreamt that Jay C and I (and some indistinguishable others) won some random-ass contest that let us chill at the Megas mansion and preview a bunch of the new tracks. Was totally bitchi'.

A few nights ago I had a dream that I was Old Snake and I was with Solid Snake. We were in a half-blown up house in the middle of what looked like a battle field but was really some camp. We needed to make it to the other side so we got the idea that that if we made cookies with asbestos in them it would put to sleep the patrolling soldiers. So we did using the houses kitchen. I ate one because I'm Snake. I was like "Tasty..."
We got past a few soldiers but eventually we were spotted. So we had to fight our way across. I had a pistol and Solid Snake had some service rifle.
Why was I accompanying a younger version of myself? The world may never know.

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