Time for an ironic movie review.


HECKLER

A documentary on hecklers, professional and internet critics and how they go to far and essentially ruin all forms of entertainment. It really hit home with me after reading reviews of shit I've done or been a part of.

The movie is a great spread of all parts of the entertainment industry, from comedians, filmmakers, tv hosts, radio hosts, producers, bands and others. And they all agree that so called "professional critiques" are mostly hurtful shots at specific people and their acts made from fat 40 year old men living in their mothers basements. How people are just being mean for the purpose of being mean.

They do go on to say how some critics are truly professional and try to see a piece of art for what it is, but the dawn of the internet, bloggers, and youtube are ruining the profession and ruining the industries.

Its a pretty decent movie to watch if you want to see how peoples opinions effect your favorite performers and how humble or hurt they are by the experiences theyve had from the growing number of critics.

Opinions of random people who are put in the media as film/comedy/music experts are hurting the industry. This is a great representation of how it is doing so. JAmie Kennedy is the main focus as the director, and at the end, you feel terrible for him. He's doing his job and people like him for it, yet the voices of people who have youtube followers are making him, and other performers depressed as shit ans it shows just how the entertainment industry is becoming more depressed.

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Adventure... excitement... a dough manipulator craves not these things.

Ted, best comedy of 2012, hands down. Nothing unique about the story, but Mark Wahlberg is especially funny which kinda surprised me. Nice to see a good comedy when there's so many shit ones out there, aka Adam Sandler movies.

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I'm the one fucking this bitch, you're just holding the camera.

The Amazing Spider-Man is hands down the best movie I've ever seen.
It in every way distinguishes itself from the original trilogy. The only similarity is there's a Spider-Man and his Uncle Ben gets murdered.
Sam Raimi tried to convey most of his scenes in facial expressions rather than words. Something which loses impact in a two hour movie.

I rewatched Spider-Man 1 last night. I timed it. The movie is a snore-fest for the first hour and fortyone minutes. Leaving only forty minutes of fun. The reboot is a solid movie after you get past the rocky opening scene.

I could go on for days. But just know that this has the approval of a big Spidey fan. I went in wanting to hate everything about it and came out loving it. Especially the suit. Which I wanted to tear to pieces. I especially loved that it wasn't skin tight. There was a small zipper in the back, I believe? It looked nice.

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Only real problem I had with the movie was the rushed and half-assed "origin" setup. It felt like they literally didn't even want it to be there, and it was mostly just awful. The original did it better (and for that matter, had a better Ben/May combo as well). But after that shit was out of the way, I agree that this reboot has a superior feel.

One thing that bugs me about origin movies is when they make their costume. Spider-Man makes his own costume just with a sewing machine and it comes out marvelous. Would it be too hard for him to go around with a more realistic costume like he really made it with a sewing machine and it looked a little amateur and wore it for a while before he runs into someone who was maybe a die hard fan/stalker who worked for some high end company that would make it for him and then he gets the bad ass looking suit?

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I'm the one fucking this bitch, you're just holding the camera.

Would make more sense, to be sure, but would also be an utter waste of screen time. I prefer a lack of realism in my superhero movies. Gotta stretch just a little to make it feel as ridiculous as it ought to.

Well it seemed like they were trying to be more realistic, if I can say that, about this movie because he made the webshooters instead of having webbing shooting out of his wrist when if he was really taking on the traits of a spider, he'd be shooting them out of his ass. I guess when it's an origins story like this, I like to see all the fine details. But the other thing that kinda sucks is the way the villains are portrayed because they always seem like they're the last minute addition with no real motivation to fight Spider-Man. But then again, I guess the when they're going off of the comic, every villains like that in Spider-Man.

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I'm the one fucking this bitch, you're just holding the camera.

Lizard was pretty weak, to be honest. They could have done so much more with him, but they didn't. The fight scenes were totally awesome, but the lizard himself had so little substance. Pity.

Like I said before, the origin parts of this movie are the worst part. It felt like the studio/director didn't even WANT to do an origin story, but felt it was necessary because of the new actors. So everything feels a little half-assed or copy-pasted. As for realism, the web-shooters thing actually bugs the shit out of me. They went to the trouble of showing him making them, presumably in an effort to be more comic accurate... and then they completely undermined the entire REASON he made them in the first place:

Originally, the spider-bite gave Parker the "spider-knowledge" of the chemical components of webbing (which is admittedly really stupid). So in order to utilize this, he made web shooters to help him spray the compound he created. In this one, he makes them on a whim and just straight up BUYS the damn cartridges from Oscorp (can't wait til they catch wise to the constant cases of webbing being sent to Aunt May's house - secret identity busted!)

And don't even get me started on the fact that his powers came from a room full of presumably identical engineered spiders, thus changing his transformation from a freak accident to an inevitability. Man, can't wait til a lab tech fucks up in that room and winds up being bitten too. Then maybe he'll become Spider-Man Jr!

Yeah. Judging from the end scene I'm betting The Green Goblin's next. He'll do better.
All Spidey villains aren't in it for the Spider. They're all driven by their own dreams. Spider-Man just gets in the way. (Doc Ock being the one exception. The latest comic arc proving my point. He doesn't even let other villains take a crack at Spider-Man simply because it's the Doc's "Last harrah" and he's about to die.) And that's the way it should be. If you suddenly had four/eight arms connected to your body would your first thought be. "I should go fight Spider-Man?"
And the lizard was pretty bad to start with. Simply because he's a prick. In this for himself. We as a viewer have absolutely no sympathy for The Lizard or even Curt Connors.

I thought the origin was perfect except, well, so many spiders. I was thinking the same thing.

Why's it bug you? Because they're just so fake-ey?

I like this Uncle Ben better. But Aunt May looks younger than my mom. Her being 54.

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In this movie, yeah, lizard is weak. In comics/cartoons, Connors is a GREAT character. Lizard is lizard, but other incarnations of Connors garner a lot more sympathy and investment.

I hope to God they don't do Green Goblin again. Seriously, what the fuck? If you're gonna do a reboot, use it as an excuse to do something new. I never liked that character much to begin with.

As for why the rest bugs me, I already explained it. The fact that there are so many spiders means that there's nothing special about spider-man's origin. Anyone that walks into that room will leave with the exact same ability set. The web shooters are fun to see, but a dumb inclusion because they weren't introduced in a sensible manner and because their inclusion is completely contradictive to the reason they were developed in the first place. If you're gonna change that part of the origin story, at least organic web shooters makes SENSE as a logical change.

This movie just threw in web shooters to have web shooters, and then was too lazy to come up with a sensible way to put them in

Yeah. He started out so inconsiderate and condescending in the movie. He shouldn't have been like that till during or after the Lizard.

Well they were talking about how. (spoilers?) Norman needed a cure for some illness that was never talked about. I'm sure the Goblin serum will be the solution to that.

Well if you play the game it talks about how Pete is the perfect cross species. It's something in his blood. Perhaps Pete's father used him as a lab rat and altered his blood? I know that's way too far fetched. But it's either that or he has some rare condition that allows the two species to work inside his body perfectly. Meaning at least MOST people wouldn't get these super powers from these spiders.

Yeah. I see what you mean with the web shooters. But at least they flash red? Because everyone loves flashing lights.

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Hey what a coincidence I just saw the movie.

Lizard was fine. Connors wanted to grow his arm back and was close to finding a way to doing so, as well as help people all over the world. Richard Parker's research "solved" the issue but he apparently knew shit would go wrong so he hid it with Peter. Peter fucked up by using the solution and Connors, threatened with all his research going down the drain, used himself as a guinea pig. We can assume the serum fucked with his head given fact that he's seen talking to himself and hearing voices or whatever, so Connors, the guy who wanted to help people, shifted his vision and attitude and became the Lizard, who wanted to get rid of humanity by turning them into more lizards, even while not transformed. Thus, when he gets cured, his personality goes back to normal and he uses the remaining Lizard strength he has to save Peter. Then the post-credits scene happens and we see that maybe Connors isn't entirely back to normal. I don't know shit about the game, which apparently takes place after the movie and involves busting Connors out of jail so maybe that resolves that thread but whatever.

Green Goblin is an inevitability, though I personally hope it's a trilogy ender (because you know they're going to make a trilogy out of this) and not put in the second movie. Norman Osborne not being in the film and only being mentioned here and there was a good choice imo. Next movie should have Mysterio. Fuck the haters. NO SYMBIOTE. Please.

Literally do not understand your issues with the web shooters and I thought the opening stuff was fine if a little rushed during the "becoming Spider-Man" montage.

I loved awkward teenager Peter Parker, but I felt that it could have used a lot more snarky confident Spider-Man. The scene in the parking lot was great but that was like the only one where it really showed him being the super talkative jokey Spidey you'd expect. Also they used it in the previews so it wasn't really that fresh at this point.

I'd give it a solid 8. Very good, very entertaining, some parts could be improved, not much I thought was flat-out negative about it.

Mysterio would be TITS. I've been hoping to see him as a villain since I learned they were making Spider Man movies. He'd just be so goddamn PERFECT!

I get the deal with Lizard, and he was "fine". I just felt he was a bit boring, and I love the Connors from the animated series, so I felt like I was a little shafted. He could have used a little extra development to flesh him out/make him likeable, but it's not like he was awful or anything.

I just don't see what the studio's obsession is with the GG. He's not really that interesting, and the best thing to come from his character was his death and the subsequent Hobgoblin, who is a million times less boring. Waste of a villain, tbh.

I don't hate the webshooters, the villain, or the movie. I'm not sure why I'm critiquing it so hard here - I've already seen it twice and I actually liked it more the second time. I think the movie is great. I'm not going to reiterate all the issues I still have with those things, because they're all in previous posts and if you still don't GET why they bother me, you're just dense (not thinking any of it is a big deal, on the other hand, is perfectly fair).

Everything being said, I'm still super stoked for the sequel. Now that the half-baked attempt at an origin story's been swept out of the way, they can just let loose and focus more on Spidey's badassery (which they fucking NAILED with this movie, even if it was a little understated). I have full confidence that the next installment will be substantially more awesome in probably every way.... assuming they don't go with GG, because FUCK

Green Goblin is Spidey's Lex Luthor. His Magneto. HIS JOKER. You can't just not have him.

And no, I don't think any of that stuff is a big deal. He probably just stole a couple of the web pellets when he was hanging out with Connors.

Mysterio would be the SHIT. And, honestly, he's really the only small-time criminal that'd be cool. Vulture, Rhino, Scorpion, aaah... I can't think of all the others. But They wouldn't translate well into a movie. Pretty much leaving us with Kingpin, Sandman, Hobgoblin, Green Goblin and Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius.
Kingpin would be awesome. But the way I envision him has a lot of build-up. Either subtly tucked in between two movies or made into one three-hour movie.

Sinister Six, anyone?

EDIT: While I agree on Green Goblin being Spidey's Lex Luthor. I also disagree. I'd say Hobgoblin fits that bill better.... Perhaps we should just say Goblin is his Joker? Hasn't Norman been both Green and Hob? Same with Harry. I don't even frickin' know who's in the suit now. I think he may have gotten killed off.... I'll check it out. So actually me agreeing/disagreeing is mute because a Goblin is a Goblin. Just Hob is a better one.

Editedit: I was just thinking Kraven the Hunter would also be awesome. I also forgot to list Venom and Carnage. Carnage would be sweet. wish they didn't have to open with Venom.
Morbius would present an interesting plot line. But I think would end up falling flat.
For those who don't know Spidey villains.

editeditedit: Really abusing the edit here... Evidently I'm totally wrong and neither Norman or Harry have been in the Hobgoblin suit. Oops... Now I feel embarrassed.

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